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The following is a letter from Steve, which he composed for Grace to deliver to the group that had gathered to organize the efforts of the trust on Sunday, 12/12/2008.
My Dear Friends,
Thank you for gathering here on my behalf. I would love to join you, but didn't feel it would be appropriate. Quite frankly, the problem is I look way too healthy. I still have all my hair and my skin retains the ruddy glow you've all secretly admired. In fact, if you saw me you'd probably say "Hey!! What's up with this faker?? He should be giving US money!!" In reality, I have to admit to feeling a little embarrassed by all the attention and cannot help but think that I am not worthy. There are so many less fortunate than I, who don't have the support I do, and have to face their darkest fears alone. It will be my great joy and honor to take whatever I don't need and pass it along to someone who might need it more.
I have always taken great pride in being able to fend for myself... taking care of my family and never asking for help. Those who know me well may have heard me say "survivors find a way to survive" and to this point, I always have. Now the word Survivor has a whole new meaning, and although I'm proud, I'm not stupid, and I realize I am going to need some help to get through this. After enduring my first round of chemo, I have come to the realization that this won't be as easy as I had hoped. My beloved Grace has been amazing, feeding me all the right foods, making sure I take all my supplements, and being at my side when I'm feeling down. I feel safe and strong, and owe it all to her...
I've said this several times since I've been sick, but this dark cloud DOES have a silver lining. When I was little, I used to wish I could die temporarily so my friends and family would miss me and appreciate me more. This cancer thing is almost as good. I've learned that people love and appreciate me, and the acts of kindness and compassion overwhelm me every time I stop to think about it. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart... you are the best friends a boy could ask for. Someday, somehow, I will find a way to show you how much this means to me.
Last, but not least, I would like to send a special shout out to my fellow Licksters. Billy has done an amazing job getting this effort off the ground, and Joey and Gray have also done way more than their share to aid their ailing brother. I am amazed that they've somehow managed to persevere without my constant guidance and direction, and slightly shocked that they even like me at all... You rock!!
OK.. that's it... grab a bite, have a drink on me, and believe that I'll be back partying with my buds before you know it. I love you all very much.
Your friend,
Steve
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